Religion as Spiritual Porn

I have been thinking a great deal lately about the parallels between religion (in the negative sense of the word) and pornography.

First a bit of clarification. By "religion" I do not mean a truly intimate and meaningful relationship with God. Instead, I am referring to the area of human activity in which people attempt to take control over the spiritual part of their lives. They do so by building an elaborate system consisting of rules, rituals and forms, and creating in their minds the illusion that they have obtained favor with God as a result compliance with that system.

I use the term "system" with precision as well. In my thought process, a system is a form of human activity in which the system seeks to perpetuate its existence at the expense of the individuals who are a part of the system. The classic example of a system in a modern nation, such as the United States. The United States is perfectly willing to sacrifice a member of that system in pursuit of the betterment of the system, for example in war. We are taught as members of this system to honor such sacrifices. Thus, the system seeks to perpetuate itself. This is the essence of what systems do.

Back to the parallels of religion and pornography. I have lots of experience with pornography having been addicted to porn at points in my life. I got a handle on porn was when I saw it for what it is: Pornography takes something precious, something intimate, and something relational, and turns it into a product, something to be bought and sold.

This is precisely what religion does as well. What pornography does with sex and a relationship with a woman, religion does with a relationship with God. Religion seeks to take the deeply felt need that we have to feel love from our Creator and makes it a profit center.

There are several other parallels as well. For example, both pornography and religion are all about being in control. When a man has sex with his wife, it is not something he can directly control. Can he perform? Will she respond? He actually does not know. For many men, this can be quite intimidating. It takes courage and transparency to do that. Dr. Ruth Westheimer has identified this as a major factor in the growth of the porn industry. It is simply safer and easier for a man to masturbate to pornography than to engage in sex with an actual woman.

Likewise, religion allows one to have a measure of control over what is essentially an unequal relationship: You with the creator of the universe, who is also a very complicated, inscrutable and somewhat mysterious person. No wonder many of us find it so intimidating. Having a way of getting a handle on this is just what the doctor ordered. We do not have to worry about our adequacy or worthiness. That is all taken care of by the religious system.

Further, both pornography and religion involve having an intermediary. In the case of the porn it is the pornographer who selects and pays the woman to perform for you in a way that you find pleasing and stimulating. A minister in a religious setting performs a similar function, especially in religions (as I said at the beginning of this post) which are guilt based and rules-oriented. I get to have someone tell me what I need to do in order to be in a right relationship with God. As long as I do so, I get to be OK.

Both pornography and religion are highly addictive. Both produce an emotional high which one becomes deeply dependent upon. In the case of pornography, this is fairly obvious. In the case of religion, it is a seldom acknowledged undertone, except for the truly cynical and manipulative ministers at the edge of religion. In one Texas Monthly magazine, for example, I read about Robert Tilton who would work his audience into what he referred to as a "spiritual lather" prior to taking up the offering.

Both pornography and religion create unrealistic expectations. In the case of pornography, you fantasize and have virtual sex with a partner that you could not possibly hope to attract in real life. She is completely outside your league in terms of age and physical attractiveness. After a while, you begin to believe that you deserve this. In the case of religion, you become more a man of God than you conceivably could justify in your real life. The most common form of delusion in this arena is to ascribe miraculous powers to yourself. Once you begin to believe that you have words of knowledge, gifts of healing and the like, you are truly in the realm of religious addiction. (Note that I do not discount genuine spiritual gifts which I believe can occur, but do so in an atmosphere of humility and brokenness. When spiritual gifts are accompanied by spiritual pride, however, that leads to the deepest state of unconsciousness and dysfunction that I know of. I include myself in this. Believe me, I have personally experienced this state.)

Finally, both pornography and religion produce the same end result: Alienation. In the case of pornography, once you have become addicted to porn, you no longer want to have anything to do with your mate: She no longer satisfies you. You are effectively cut off from that form of contact with you. Religion also cuts you off from a true and intimate relationship with God. Once you have settled for the form of Godliness, you no longer desire the reality. Again, it no longer satisfies. Your relationship with God could not come close to the thrilling, wonderful experience that you have every week in your religious system.

My prayer for myself and for others is for us to put away our religious systems and come into a true intimate relationship with God. I have personally been severely damaged by religion. I have no desire to continue in that realm.